Fake Smile

I am not myself today..
I no longer feel the same way i felt in the past..
Ur voice no longer sounds familiar..
Ur presence seems so distant..

Yet I put on a fake smile which u could never figure out..
The few minutes of pin drop silence when I stopped talking made me realize..
I was the one who put in so much effort all this while.. and I exhausted

And now I am smiling...
The other u called.. Thx.. Lol.. U always make me laugh..
At the same time U make me feel lonely..
U make me feel that even "they" are incomparable when it comes to u..

Who can catch a grenade for me?
Who can jump in front of a train for me?
Who can make my heart skip a beat again?

I will just make sure my schedule is pack til I can't breathe 2mr..
Don't need to force urself to turn up if u don't want to..
I'm sick of ur ffk-ness...
Sorry I just can't tolerate any futther.. I tried to understand.. I really tried..
I never show my feeling doesn't mean I don't mind..

Don't get my wrong..
I'm just not myself today..
I'm not emo.. I'm just feeling bored...

Nevertheless I have a mask which is capable of concealing all emotions..
Afterall, I'm just a happy go lucky childish girl right? To u guys...